How to differentiate between constructive and destructive criticism?

The book of Proverbs offers several principles to help discern when criticism is justified and should be accepted, or when it should be disregarded:

Evaluate the Source

• “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” (Proverbs 27:6)[4] Criticism from a true friend who has your best interests at heart is more valuable than flattery from an enemy or someone who does not wish you well.
• “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him.” (Proverbs 26:4) Criticism from a foolish or wicked source may not be worth heeding.[2]

Examine Your Heart

• “He whose ear listens to the life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise.” (Proverbs 15:31)[3] A humble heart that is open to correction from wise sources is a mark of wisdom.
• “Poverty and shame will come to him who neglects discipline, but he who regards reproof will be honored.” (Proverbs 13:18)[4] Ignoring all criticism out of pride can lead to ruin.

Consider the Manner

• “Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed.” (Proverbs 27:5)[4] Criticism that is given openly and sincerely, even if it stings, can be more valuable than keeping issues bottled up.
• “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1) How the criticism is delivered matters – harsh criticism may spark defensiveness rather than growth.[2]

In summary, justified criticism often comes from wise and caring sources, is given with good intentions, and stems from an examination of truth rather than malice. An honest evaluation of the source, intention, and one’s own heart is needed to discern if criticism should be accepted or rejected.[1][2][3][4]

Citations:
[1] https://www.bibletools.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/topical.show/RTD/cgg/ID/1015/Criticism.htm
[2] https://blog.tms.edu/how-to-interpret-proverbs-5-principles-to-guide-your-study
[3] https://www.intouchuk.org/read/daily-devotions/a-godly-response-to-criticism
[4] https://biblegen.com/criticism/
[5] https://www.1517.org/articles/reading-proverbs-and-receiving-criticism